Bad Day
by Phoenix on cloud nine
Summary: Tony's ill, so someone has to look after him. Though Gibbs swears that's not his responsibility...
1. Chapter 1

**Based sometime after 'SWAK' but before 'Twilight'. Kinda obv lol, but I thought I'd mention it anyways ;)****  


* * *

**Kate looked up as she saw Special Agent Antony DiNozzo walk in. What puzzled her was not the pale colour of his skin, nor the clear lines of sweat running down his face, or the fact that he looked like he was about to pass out. What puzzled her was the fact that his hair hadn't had anything done to it, and unless her eyes were tricking her, she was sure the clothes he was wearing were _not _the designer fabrics she'd gotten accustomed to seeing him wearing.

"You ok Tony?" She asked, careful to keep her tone as nothing more than polite and slightly scathing.

"M'fine thanks Kate." He replied, sounding so chipper and upbeat that she just put his appearance at the back of her mind, even when he started to shiver and sweat more, pulling at his collar with shaking hands and looking more than once like he was going to throw up there and then.

--

All was quiet in the bullpen as Gibbs came smoothly out of the elevator doors and went to sit at his desk. Nodding as both Kate and McGee said 'Good morning' he frowned as he came upon the fact that his senior field agent was sleeping fitfully at his desk, feet resting on the desk as he leant back in his chair.

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs yelled, not caring if Tony hadn't got much sleep last night if he 'knew what I'm saying Boss'. The sharp marine shout got Tony leaping up and croaking,

"Morning Boss." He then rested back down, about to have another nap, before the need to vomit overwhelmed him and he shot out from behind his desk. Raising an eyebrow, Gibbs turned to Kate,

"What's wrong with DiNozzo?" Kate shrugged, forgetting to mention the pallor of her partner's face or the shaking and sweating she'd witnessed during the morning. Nor did she mention the shuddering, hacking coughs she swore she could hear from the men's toilets a few seconds after Tony had left. Tony didn't get sick, he just had a cold, and was milking it for all he was worth. The only time he'd ever gotten properly sick was when he'd opened that letter with the plague in it.

No, she decided quietly, she didn't want to annoy Gibbs by saying she thought there was something wrong with her co-worker, only to have Tony marched down to Ducky by the Boss, to then be told he had a slight cold.

No, best to leave it as it was.

**Ok, it's a work in progress people, I didn't really have a plot, so I might have rambled a bit ;) Hope you liked it - review? I don't usually write NCIS, I'm more Boosh :P Oh yeah, hopefully the next few chapters will be exceptionally longer, so don't take the size of this one as how the rest are gonna be, I just have coursework I should be doing lol. Hope you survived my ridiculously long A/N :D xx**

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh wow, thanks so much for all the reviews and alerts ^^ Oh yeah, and one reviewer, Bella, came up with an extremely good point. I would have replied to her review, but it was unsigned :P  
She said wouldn't everyone have noticed if Tony was unwell if it was after 'SWAK', 'cause it could be signs of the plague again. I guess I made it so unclear it's not even there (It's not there looking back lol) but because I like Kate too much, this is like, months after it (But before 'Twilight'), which I'm going to address in this chapter. Thanks for that Bella, I probably wouldn't have noticed otherwise :S If anyone else has questions, please feel free to point stuff out :D**

"DiNozzo, bag and tag!" Gibbs shouted over. His glance stayed on his senior field agent for a while longer, only just noticing the white hue Tony had. The boy clearly felt unwell, Kate hadn't been the only one to hear the vomiting, and Gibbs had certainly smelt it when he went in the bathroom before. But why had he just realised the colour and shaking?

Tony pulled some evidence bags out of his pocket, and tugged his NCIS cap further onto his head, trying to keep out the sun, he was burning up. Glancing up however, the sky was a waste of pale grey, and the way Kate and Ducky's assistant, Mr Palmer, were behaving, Tony guessed that it was actually quite cold.

"It's just a bad cold DiNozzo, get a grip" He muttered to himself, wrestling with nausea and dizziness as he bent down to pick up some cigarette buts, he couldn't help it and keeled over, right next to them.

He couldn't even get back up. The cool dew on the grass felt so nice against his burning skin, that he heaved a small sigh of contentment and closed his eyes. He jerked up however, when he heard footsteps in his direction,

_You idiot Tony, _He thought angrily, _What did you expect to happen? You fall asleep at a crime scene and they'll just come and collect you in a few hours?_

With a huge amount of effort, he managed to pull himself up to a sitting form and wiped the sweat/dew off his face before both Kate and Gibbs came over,

"Tony?" Kate asked hesitantly, not quite sure what just happened, "Are you sure you're ok?"

Tony immediately started panicking. He didn't want to be put on sick leave or whatever, especially not when they were halfway through a case. Gibbs would be so angry at him if he left them to figure it out. Plus, he was _certain_ that it was just a cold, so what would be the point of having to stay out of work when they clearly needed him?

"I'm fine and dandy Kate," He said in response to her question, with a cheerful voice, "I'm just…checking the ground. For…footprints and seeing if I can tell where the person walked from their cigarette." _Smooth_, he nodded to himself approvingly, _she'll buy that. Gibbs however, _He gulped as he saw his boss towering over, _I'm not so sure._

"DiNozzo you look like crap," Was all Gibbs said, "Go stick that stuff in the van." He added as an afterthought, although there was only one bag in Tony's hands. Kate looked up in surprise as Gibbs simply walked away, only shouting back,

"Start snapping Kate!"

"On it Gibbs!" She replied, bending down to take a picture of the cigarette but that Tony was sat next to. As he was slowly getting up she snapped the picture. The flash was enough to cause him to fall down once more, spots dancing up and down in front of his eyes as the shock of it made him almost vomit, stopping himself just in time. Scrabbling around and pulling himself up for what he hoped was the last time of at least that day, he scowled,

"Jesus Todd, what'd you do that for? It's bad enough that Gibbs is making me do all this work, but now you're trying to kill as well?" Although his strained and pale face told her to be gentle with him, rage flared up inside her and she replied angrily,

"Believe me Tony, if I wanted to kill you, I wouldn't need to go to all the effort of lifting a finger to take a picture! And you've got the easiest job! Not even able to bag one piece of evidence and Gibbs tells you to take a break!"

"That's not what he sa…"

"It's what he meant," Kate interrupted him, "You should know that. Now go, I need to finish my job."

Tony scowled and stalked off, in the direction of the NCIS van. He threw the empty evidence bag into it and sat down heavily on the back of the van. His head ached awfully, and when he rested it in his hands he could feel how hot his forehead was. Groaning, he made a mental note to take some painkillers when he was finally allowed home. It was against his better judgement, and he felt ashamed that he would need painkillers for a cold, but it was becoming unbearable.

"Tony, we're shipping out, going back to NCISto give this stuff to Abby, see what she can find." Tony nodded as his Boss's voice ran over him, becoming fuzzy, making him feel like he was underwater. As if this wasn't bad enough, he lurched off the edge of the van as the nausea became too much, and was copiously sick into some clumps of grass amongst the hedgerow.

When he'd finished (And he'd coughed so much it felt like he had tried to cough up a lung) he wiped his mouth on his sleeve. Wincing as he turned and realised everyone was watching, he opened his mouth, only to have the world disappear from under him.

Although he was sure there were some strong marine arms catching him just before he hit the ground.

**I know that last line sounded like it would be slash (Or is it just me?) but sorry, this isn't a slash story :) Please review? And sorry about the length of the first A/N, I didn't mean for it to go on so long :P xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**K, first things first, thanks for all the amazing reviews :) Now, erm… ok, the whole timing issue thing lol. I guess this is slightly AU, as this is months after 'SWAK' but before 'Twilight'. The only reason is that I like Kate better than Ziva lol. Also, ****FeenyFan4ever, yes you may call me Phoenix ;) Don't worry, I'm gonna have Gibbs's parental side come out tenfold in the ensuing chapters (Hopefully lol).  
Again, if you don't get anything or have questions, I'll be happy to answer them ;)**

Tony was aware of some hands gently running their fingers through his hair. He could feel something vibrating under him, every so often juddering up and down, also, the changes in light every second made him come to the conclusion that he was in a van. He didn't want to get up just yet, feeling safe in whoever's care it was that was stroking his head, and made sure he lay perfectly still.

However, his internal temperature was apparantly against him today. Feeling weak and fuzzy, but much too uncomfortable, he struggled to sit up.

"Easy there cowboy." A low voice said from his head. Strong hands pushed him back down slowly, but now he was awake, there was no stroking of his hair. Feeling a small pang, Tony decided there was no point lying there any longer and managed to sit up, not caring that he felt dizzy. Sweat was dripping from his forehead and his shirt was sticking to him in various patches, but he managed to sit completely upright in the back of the van.

Now that his eyes had become accustomed to being open, he slowly took in his surroundings. It seemed that, after he'd collapsed (He groaned as he realised Kate had seen, he'd never hear the end of this), someone had layed him in the back of the van, on top of a spare blanket Ducky had, and someone had also decided to sit there with him in case he got flown around when the van was going.

Twisting his aching head around, he found Gibbs crouched behind him, scrutinizing his every move, _probably cautious in case I throw up again_, Tony thought. Just as he was about to open his mouth and say something, the van came to a halt. This would have made Tony fly forward, if it wasn't for Gibbs carefully wrapping his arms around his senior field agent's waist and pulling him closer to the older man's body.

Tony stayed silent until the back doors opened and both Kate and McGee peered in, the latter looking slightly nervous. Tony tried to smile at them both, reassure them that he was fine, he just hadn't eaten in a while, but his face wouldn't follow instructions and he grimaced up at them, something not going unnoticed by Gibbs,

"Ok DiNozzo, we're gonna get you in and then we're gonna take you down to Ducky."

"Wasn't he at the scene?" Tony asked, trying to ignore the rise in temperature, and tried to inconspicuously curl his arms around his stomach, which was sending out ever larger threats of vomiting,

"Yeah, but he said he'd rather check you out here," Gibbs informed Tony, who nodded, and gripped his sides to prevent him from groaning in pain. Half a minute passed, until Gibbs barked,

"Well what are you waiting for DiNozzo, a warrant? Get your butt over to autopsy!" Tony nodded again,

"Gotcha Boss." He muttered and attempted to swing his legs over so that he could get out of the van. However, there was no way that would happen without him throwing his guts at both Kate and McGee, which he would find amusing, but he guessed he'd have his scrotum ripped off and be smacked on the head afterwards.

"Erm, Boss?... I can't, er... I need..." He hesitated, not wanting to ask Gibbs for help. Surely it was a sign of weakness? Although, Gibbs didn't say anything and gently pulled Tony over to the side, before getting out and pulling him to a half stand/ half crouch. Sighing, Gibbs could do nothing but drag Tony's arm around his shoulders and help him to autopsy.

--

Dr Donald 'Ducky' Mallard looked up in shock as the doors to autopsy slid open and two men stumbled in. Well, one man stumbled, the other was dragged with him, seemingly unconscious.

"Well, well Anthony, you've done yourself proud this time," Ducky announced to the whole room, as he stuck some gloves on, "Ah, Mr Palmer, will you help Jethro put the young man on a table?"

"Certainly Doctor." Jimmy replied, and at once went to help Gibbs, trying to ignore the glare he was getting from the older man all the time.

"How long has he been unconscious?" Ducky asked, bending over Tony with the eager eye of a doctor,

"We were coming to see you, and when we passed our desks he said that he needed to do his work and tried to go over to his desk. That's when he collapsed, and I came down here." Gibbs replied.

"Such a stubborn boy," Ducky muttered, which Gibbs heard and gave a wan smile, "Do you know his symptoms?" Gibbs shook his head,

"You know DiNozzo Duck, he'll only tell you what's wrong with him if both his legs are missing."

"Quite." Ducky replied, and continued his examination. Half way through, Tony stirred, and was met with three pairs of eyes, the third pair creased with concern around the ice blue iris. He wanted to say something, preferably smart-ass, but Ducky started to talk,

"Ah, Anthony, you've given us quite a scare. How long would you say you've been feeling like this?" Tony bit his lip,

"Just today." Gibbs saw something in Tony's eyes that he'd never see if they'd been talking face to face. Lying.

"DiNozzo!" He barked, making the agent jump and hastily say,

"3 or 4 days."

"And what would you say," Ducky continued, "Was wrong with you?" Tony shrugged,

"Just a cold," He saw the unbelieving in everyone's eyes and sighed, "Look, I'm fine, I just need a bit of a sleep, maybe a bite to eat."

"When was the last time you ate?" Ducky asked, curious as to what was wrong with his patient. Tony looked up and knew he couldn't lie in front of Gibbs,

"Maybe a week." He murmured, looking down, like a child.

"DiNozzo! What were you thinking when you decided to give up food?!" Gibbs yelled, and only Ducky picked up the trace of fear that ran through the ex-marine's face. If Gibbs couldn't control something that was out of place in one of his agent's lives, he would feel useless. Gibbs always solved everything, and to have his (And Ducky felt fine with using the next word, even though leaders shouldn't have these) favourite agent ill and not giving any clues as to what was wrong, well - Ducky wouldn't want to live in that office for the next few weeks.

"Sorry Boss." Tony muttered, still not looking up from the floor. He winced as he heard the disappointment in his boss's voice.

"Well young man, how about you spare us any more guessing games and tell me what's wrong with you. Just a run through of your symptoms." Ducky prodded, in a kinder tone than Gibbs's was.

"Erm, I've thrown up quite a bit, bit dizzy, I'm really burnin' up here doc," He whined, but on seeing no sympathy as of yet he sighed and continued, "Headache, no appetite, I guess I've fainted a few times as well." He finished up. Ducky glanced around, looking thoughtful. He eventually put a thermometer in his patient's mouth and said,

"Now you just keep that in there a while, there's a good chap." He turned to unzip a body bag whilst waiting, in which time Gibbs followed him, while Jimmy talked to Tony,

"You think it's something to do with the plague again Duck?" Gibbs whispered, scared that his agent might be having some sort of a relapse.

"Hard to say. It's not very likely, that was several months ago, and although his lungs were weakened, they sounded fine for his condition when I listened. The most probable cause for all of this is gastroenteritis, quite a nasty infection. There's not much I can do, but I suggest he stays off work for at least a week," He turned to face Tony, "I suggest going to the hospital if this gets any worse."

By this time, Jimmy read the thermometer,

"It says 101 Doctor." The assistant declared, flicking his eyes up to his superior. Ducky nodded and said to Tony,

"You should go home now and get some sleep, perhaps try and eat something. Do you have anyone to stay with you, in case it gets worse? Because in my experience, it happens when you least expect it." Tony shook his head, which he regretted, as he began to feel dizzy again. He heard a sigh from the corner and looked up to see his boss glaring at him, but the frown on his face didn't quite reach his eyes, which looked almost..._ kind_, and sympathetic.

"I'll take him home." Gibbs said, trying to sound like there was no other alternative,

"But Boss, what about the case?" Tony asked weakly, feeling like he would pass out once more, _Which is silly, _He thought, _DiNozzo's don't pass out._

"Kate and McGee are more than capable to finish it without my help DiNozzo, now come on, if you're lucky I might even let you sand my boat." Tony flicked his eyes over to Ducky for reassurance. Surely living with the boss wouldn't be that bad?

_Good luck, _Ducky mouthed, before ushering both agents out of his autopsy.

**I did promise you longer :D Well, in my inner monologue. It's constant ^^ Anywho, lovin the reviews, hint, hint :P xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for all the amazing reviews :) Wow that's all I've got to say lol...**

Gibbs was all for helping his agent to his car and taking him home (To his own though, he didn't want to stay at Tony's _at_ all) but everyone else had other ideas. As soon as they'd gotten up to their office, Tony was aware of being surrounded by three people, and he was sure there was a smurf or two somewhere, his temperature peaking, making him hallucinate,

"Tony, are you ok? Where're you going?" Was that Kate or McGee? They sounded like they should be underwater. Maybe it was one of those darn smurfs, they were about the same height as his fellow agents, and sort of grouped together, it was hard to distinguish any of them,

"I'm fine Smurfette, I'm just gonna go home now. Hey, I've always wondered why you're the only girl smurf. Have they never tried to take advantage of you?" He babbled, actually talking to Kate, who backed away slightly, although not sure if he was being serious or not. She looked over to Gibbs for help, who looked rather amused at the proceedings,

"C'mon DiNozzo, you're burning up, wish Ducky could have given you antibiotics or something." Gibbs grumbled, hoisting his agent upright yet again as he slid down the older man's body.

"I gotcha Papa Smurf." Tony mumbled, gazing around, as if not sure where he was. Gibbs felt something in his chest as he heard Tony say that, but quickly shook it off as Abby came rushing up,

"OMG Gibbs, I..."

"OMG?" He asked, briefly distracted by the slipping man,

"It means 'Oh my God' Gibbs, have you never texted anyone? I once knew this guy, who hadn't texted anyone since he got his phone seven years before, but then..."

"Abbs, what was it you wanted? 'Cause I don't think it's fair on DiNozzo if you stop me taking him home." Abby's eyes widened,

"What happened Gibbs? Is he ok? Has Ducky seen him?" Gibbs smiled slightly at her attachment to her surrogate brother and said,

"Relax Abbs, Ducky said he has gastroenteritis, he's going home for the week." He directed the end bit of this sentence to his agent, who clearly wasn't listening, and was probably seeing yet more smurfs.

"Ouch, I had that once, not nice."

"Are there any antibiotics to help?" Gibbs asked, wanting to keep Tony out of as much discomfort as possible. To his dismay, Abby shook her head,

"Just Gaviscon, soothe the stomach, you really just have to wait for it to finish. Depends how early you caught it as well, might make it easier for him." She heard a small noise from Kate, who was beside her, and turned to look at her friend, head cocked slightly. Kate sighed and said, to Gibbs,

"I knew something was wrong with him. He looked really ill, and it never occurred to me it could be something serious, I just assumed it was a cold. I'm so sorry Gibbs, it could have been the plague again for all I knew and I didn't do anything..." She looked down, her face showing how upset she was. Abby looked up in surprise when she heard Gibbs respond softly,

"It's not your fault Kate, I knew he wasn't feeling well, I just put it all down to that crap that he eats," He said this with a slight twitch in his jaw, trying to make light of the situation, "I'm to blame." He was gobsmacked and actually stunned into silence when he received a smack on the back of his head, not unlike the ones he gave out to his team. He looked round to see Abby glaring at both him and Kate, and from what he saw, she'd been smacked as well,

"Stop blaming yourself Gibbs! It won't do any good, so just forget it! And didn't you say you were going to take him home? Why haven't you gone yet? Mush!" Abby said this all rather quickly, possibly still afraid she'd be hit for it, but her concern for Tony took priority and she just kept waving her hands in an attempt to make Gibbs go home.

It worked. Amazingly, Gibbs smiled at her and quickly kissed her cheek before assisting Tony to the lifts, who was now slightly more articulate and could distinguish real from fake. Meanwhile, Kate and McGee gazed at Abby, their mouths open.

"How do you manage that? If I ever tried to do that to him he'd fire me!" Kate exclaimed, although not altogether surprised at the fact that the young scientist was let off. She was, after all, Gibbs' favourite. Apart from Tony, who she was sure was getting more preferential treatment as time went on.

"I heard that once, someone tried to do it to him, and no one ever heard from them again," McGee said, in a chilling voice. However, this effect was ruined when he added, in his usual voice, "But I think they moved. I think they went to work in Iraq..." Kate shook her head, leaving Abby to reply,

"I'm not surprised Timmy, if anyone but me tried to do that, he'd have them shipped out to some war ridden country." She sighed as she began to walk back to her lab. However, she paused, and turned back,

"Hey Kate? Tony'll be alright won't he?"

"He should be fine, he's just got that infection. But living with Gibbs for a week..." Abby shook her head, disagreeing with Kate's answer,

"I don't think so, I think a week with Gibbs looking after him is exactly what Tony needs." With that she left, leaving Kate and McGee to try and work out in what universe anyone would benefit having to be ill and live with Gibbs for a week.

--

Gibbs had managed to get Tony into his house without too much of a problem. He now needed to maintain the amount of managing he was doing by getting the young man into bed so that he could rest, but he was just so damn stubborn,

"DiNozzo, I swear, we don't have that much work to do on this case, and Kate and McGee can manage it, just get in that bed and go to sleep!" Tony mumbled something that sounded incredibly childish, such as,

"Don't want to..." Gibbs pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. He really didn't want to go all 'marine' on his young charge, especially in the state he was in, but Tony wasn't listening,

"DiNozzo!" He barked, making the ill man jump and turn an odd shde of green. He swore, and quickly got next to him, wrapping an arm round his waist,

"Bathroom's this way Tony." He led his agent down a corridor and to a spacey bathroom. Tony immediately fell to his knees and started to heave into the toilet. It seemed like ages, and Gibbs couldn't bear watching Tony cough so painfully, spitting when he thought he was done but choking once again. All he could do was rub the younger man's back and mumble comforting things to him. Fair enough, it was when Tony was coughing his loudest, but it was the thought that counted.

"It's ok kid, you'll be fine, come on now..." Eventually, the young agent stopped, and allowed Gibbs to help him pull him up, so that he was leaning against his Boss once again,

"I'm fine now Boss, I just need..."

"To lie down." Gibbs interrupted, changing the sentence, as he was sure that wasn't what Tony was going to say. However, Tony had heard the softness in Gibbs' voice and simply nodded, following him slowly to a guest bedroom which was, thankfully, on the ground floor.

After turning his back while Tony was getting changed, Gibbs turned back, hearing a shaky 'Done'. He smiled slightly as he saw Tony sat on the edge of the bed, looking very pale and fragile, in a white top that was too baggy and his boxers. The ex-marine's eyebrows furrowed as he saw how thin Tony had gotten. The boy really hadn't been looking after himself very well.

After making sure Tony was definitely tucked under, and there was no chance of him trying to escape to go back to his flat, Gibbs bid him goodnight, after leaving a glass of water and some painkillers on the bedside table.

"Wait..." Came a small voice, weak with lack of sleep and illness, his hand latching onto Gibbs' trouser leg to stop him going, "Hey Boss?"

"Yeah Tony?" A whispered response came back, the room already in darkness,

"It's too quiet in here, I can't sleep when it's too quiet." Raising an eyebrow at his peculiar agent, Gibbs waited for him to suggest something, and it was obvious he was going to, the way his voice sounded,

"Well, would you, I mean, d'you think you could... sing something?" The embarrassment was only too clear in his voice, and Gibbs could tell Tony already regretted saying it,

"What do you want me to sing DiNozzo?" He asked softly,

"I don't know... something... nice, soft..." Gibbs thought for a moment, before using an old favourite he used to sing to Kelly, when she couldn't sleep and wasn't very well,

"_Underneath the moon,__  
__Underneath the stars,__  
__Here's a little heart,__  
__For you,__  
__Up above the world,__  
__Up above it all,__  
__Here's a hand to hold on to..."_

He didn't even need to sing more than one verse, as Tony had sighed contentedly on the first line, and let go of his hold on Gibbs' trouser leg, relaxing. Gibbs smiled fondly and ran his fingers through Tony's hair, before silently creeping out the room.

**Ok, I don't think the song was perfect, but it's all I can think of at the moment :P In case anyone wants to hear the rest of it, it's called 'Don't let me fall' by Lenka. That's enough out of me :) Review? xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Howdy peeps :P Cheers for the reviews ^^ **

Tony woke up in a swelteringly hot room. He tried to pull at the covers, but his arms flapped uselessly against the sheets, covered in sweat. His stomach felt awful as well. Because of the weakened state of his arms, he couldn't reach for the bucket Gibbs had provided in time, so he had nothing to do except throw up on the floor. He almost cried at the disgustingness of it all, but he didn't even have the energy for that.

Suddenly, he was _sure _he heard a voice, a spiteful, bitter voice, resounding off the walls in the room,

_Ha, look at you. Pathetic. Utterly pathetic. Didn't I tell you you'd wind up in the gutter? Didn't I tell you you'd never amount to anything? And look at how right I was... How worthless you really are, lying in your boss' bed, bad cold, pathetic! Your boss doesn't even like you, he just pretends, like everyone else in your life! Why do you think your mother and I both left you? I'm just sorry I didn't do it sooner!_

Tony was sweating and shaking even more than before as he saw and heard his father, yelling at him, abusing him like he had done since the day Tony was born. And he was probably right. Nobody at work really liked him, he was nothing but a burden, a burden to Gibbs...

_Are you crying? God almighty, I knew you were the bad seed of the family! Can't even cope with a couple of home truths!_

"Shut up..." Tony whispered, not even attempting to put up much of a fight. He didn't have the energy, and he still felt incredibly nauseous.

_Why did I waste 12 years of my life on you? I could have smothered you while you were sleeping, or just finished you off with those beatings... I held back, I admit, but I won't this time..._

The hallucination advanced on Tony, who cried out, the room waving and flickering wildly as he tried to get away.

--

Gibbs jumped from sleep. He was sure he had heard something. About to shrug it off, he rolled over to get back to sleep, but he was definite he'd a noise coming from downstairs. He leapt out of bed, his marine senses on full alert. He pulled his gun out of his bedside drawer and crept out his room, slowly and silently. He paused as he tried to distinguish the voice he was hearing. It was lucid, and hard to understand, and just as Gibbs was going to just go downstairs and shoot someone, he remembered with a jolt that Tony was downstairs.

He started running now, not letting hold of his gun, but swiftly padding down his stairs until he swing round and opened Tony's door. The young man was thrashing around, nervous energy and adrenaline setting in from what he thought he could see, giving him that extra boost that allowed him to reach out wildly,

"Tony! Tony, what's wrong?" Gibbs ran to the side of the bed, noticing the vomit on the floor, but not at all angry, only anxious for his agent's health, "Tony?" He asked again, softly, hoping that would bring him back from wherever he was, but it did nothing, and Tony just started to yell hoarsely,

"No! Dad, don't! Dad! Mum, help me! Dad stop! Help... H-help..." He was getting quieter, sobbing as he tried to shout for help to fight something in his mind, "S-stop it... M-mum! Gibbs, help me! P-please..." Gibbs sat on the bed next to his agent, slowly reaching over to carefully take his arms and bring them down to the bed,

"It's alright Tony," He mumbled, pulling the younger man towards him, noting how hot he felt, "It's ok son, you just breathe, come on, you're alright now..." Tony soon stopped, feeling safe in Gibbs' arms. He started to hiccough, before eventually sniffling and falling into an exhausted sleep, still snuggled in Gibbs' arms.

The older man looked down, surprised at how natural it felt. It seemed like it was the most common thing in the world. After all, who doesn't rock their child back to sleep after they had a nightmare? Or a hallucination brought on by their temperature? Gibbs shook his head as he just remembered that. He'd need to call Ducky, sure that his temperature wasn't supposed to be that high.

Not wanting to leave Tony, Gibbs stayed a while longer, just watching him, all the small movements and little noises he made were closely examined before Gibbs stood up slowly and went out the room, over to use the phone. Wincing as he saw the time, he almost decided not to call, but when he'd made his mind up to do something, he'd do it. He and DiNozzo were very similar in that respect.

Amazingly, the phone was picked up on the second ring.

_"Hello?"_

"Hey Ducky, it's me."

_"Ah, Jethro - how is Anthony?"_

"That's kind of the reason I called Duck, would you come and look at him? His temperature's really high, and he was thrashing about in his sleep, I think he was hallucinating, he was screaming about his Dad, yelling for his Mother to save him." Gibbs could practically hear the cogs in the ME's head whirring,

_"I'll be right over Jethro. You're lucky you caught me tonight, it's Mother's annual Bingo night, she's invited all of the..."_

"Thanks Duck." Gibbs said loudly and cut the call. After he put the phone back, he paused, gazing about his house. It had definitely been a while since he'd had a house call from a doctor. He didn't really know what to do with himself until he just drifted back to Tony's room, and sat softly on the edge of the bed, staring at Tony, who seemed to have recovered his violent attack, but was still incredibly warm, Gibbs could tell, putting his hand gently on the younger man's forehead.

He pulled the covers back, and sat there a while longer, quite jumpy, worried about Tony, until thankfully the doorbell rang and he was able to jump up and answer.

"Hey Ducky, thanks for coming." He helped the ME with his bags while he answered,

"My pleasure Jethro, can't have Anthony getting too ill, can we?" Gibbs nodded his agreement and they walked through the house, Gibbs opening the door to Tony's bedroom and allowing Ducky in there first.

Ducky quickly surveyed the scene, as Gibbs did he took account of the vomit on the floor and went over to where Tony was sleeping fitfully. He quickly took out his thermometer and slid it into the sleeping man's mouth. Waiting for a while before taking it out, he finally did and looked at it,

"My my, 103, no wonder the poor boy's uncomfortable. That added with the vomiting... Jethro I really think the lad should go into hospital."

"But he hates hospitals Duck..." Gibbs said quietly, running his fingers through his agent's hair. He would have argued some more, but the heat radiating off Tony changed his mind,

"Fine, but you'll be the one that gets blamed when he comes round." Ducky nodded grimly and said,

"We can go in my car, I don't think you'll be needing to pack and over night bag. I assume you don't have anything of his?" Gibbs cursed himself for his stupidity,

"No, we came straight here from you yesterday." Ducky nodded again, and stood back while Gibbs went forwards, toward the bed,

"Tony," He whispered, shaking the man's shoulder softly, "Come on, time to wake up..." He didn't get a response, so he sighed and simply lifted Tony right off the bed and carried him out of the house, bridal style.

After he was carefully bundled into the back of Ducky's car, Gibbs looked back at Tony from the front seat. He was terrified if he told the truth. Absolutely terrified. He couldn't help at all with this, just sit with him and calm him down after anything happened.

"I'll never let anyone hurt you again Tony." He whispered, too quiet for Ducky to hear, but as he turned around again, Tony stayed asleep, a small smile etched on his face.

**Tadaa :P Oh yeah, after this story's over, I wanna do another one, still father/son obv ;) It's gonna have something to do with Tony being de-aged in some way lol. What d'you think? Will anyone read it? Meh, review this chapter? xxx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey, how're you, you cheeky bitches? :P Thanks for all the reviews ^^ I shouldn't have started that other story lol, I really just want to write that one now lol 0.o But I'm gonna persevere with this :P**

Gibbs sighed as he sat next to the hospital bed. It was about 5 in the morning, and he'd been there for about 2 hours. For the millionth time he gazed around the room, taking in the boring colour of the walls, the plain sheets on the bed, and the completely ordinary plant in the corner. He was gasping for some coffee, but wouldn't allow himself to be dragged away from the side of Tony's bed. The doctors had decided that he had pneumonia, rather than the virus Ducky had at first thought he had. Apparently many of the symptoms were the same, and he was immediately put on a several rounds of antibiotics, currently being pumped into his system through an IV drip in his arm.

He was still asleep when they got to the hospital, and Ducky had persuaded Gibbs to get a wheel chair rather than carry his agent in, and they were quickly seen to, the doctor swiftly coming to the conclusion of pneumonia and scribbling down the various drugs he was poisoning Tony with. That was how Gibbs saw it. They didn't look like they were making him well at all, he looked even worse. He was a horrible pale colour, with his hair sticking to his forehead as beads of sweat gathered there.

"He doesn't look that well, does he?" Gibbs jumped - he hadn't heard anyone come into the room. Ducky sat on the chair next to his and passed him a cup of coffee,

"You look like you need it." He stated matter-of-factly as Gibbs looked at him in astonishment.

"Go home Jethro," He said softly, "I'll keep a vigil, he won't be going anywhere." Gibbs gave him a 'look', making Ducky smile slightly,

"Yes I didn't really believe it either." The two men sat in silence for a while, until Gibbs looked at his watch,

"It's nearly seven Ducky, you need to go to work. _I _need to go to work, and Abby will actually kill me if she isn't told that Tony's in hospital." Ducky stood up from his chair,

"Don't worry Jethro, I'll tell her, I've got a customer waiting on the table anyway. Look after him my boy, his lungs are in a terrible state already, check for any signs of discomfort, if he coughs..."

"I got it Duck, go on, he'll be fine." Ducky didn't look that reassured but went anyway, closing the door quietly so he didn't wake the man in the bed. Gibbs sighed as he looked down at Tony, and started to say, conversationally,

"You've led us on a merry dance DiNozzo. Just be glad I'm not firing your ass for your little stunt back there," He was referring to the hallucination that Tony had seen, when Gibbs had found him lashing out to the air. He sighed again, and gently put his hand on Tony's forehead, stroking it.

"What stunt?" Tony mumbled, wheezing slightly as he said it. Gibbs jumped slightly, but didn't remove his hand,

"You don't remember? Before you came here, you were shouting at nothing, shouting at...you father. You kept screaming no, and yelling for your mother to save you. What did you see?"

"Am I in a hospital?" Tony suddenly asked, and Gibbs didn't know whether he was deliberately side-stepping the question or not, but answered anyway,

"Yeah. Sorry kid, it was Ducky's idea. But I bet you're glad you came huh?" Tony's forehead wrinkled slightly as he squeezed his eyes tighter, still closed, as if trying to work something out,

"Why?"

"You have pneumonia Tony, they're pumping you full of drugs to get you better."

"Oh." Was all he got back, and before he knew it the boy was asleep again. Gibbs smiled, maybe he was getting better, he didn't looked like he was in any pain. Though that wheezing didn't sound good...

He stopped his musings when he heard a knock at the door, and a head peep round it. Gibbs relaxed slightly as Dr Brad Pitt inched into the room. He trusted him.

"How's he doing?" Dr Pitt asked, speaking quietly,

"Fine, he woke up for a minute, long enough for me to tell him he was in hospital, but then went back to sleep." Dr Pitt nodded as he ran through the chart at the foot of Tony's bed,

"Yes, diseases like this often take quite a lot out of you. Well, I'm going to check back in a couple of hours, there's a call button on the side if you need anything."

"He was wheezing when he talked," Gibbs informed him, "Is that bad?" he asked,

"No. Obviously, things he's had in the past have left a certain scarring on his lungs, and you'd expect him to wheeze a little, but the drugs we're giving him are going to combat any infection to his lungs, so I wouldn't worry if I were you." Gibbs nodded and Dr Pitt left the room. Gibbs heard him stop for a moment outside, and heard him say, 'Excuse me', as if he'd walked into someone. His theory was proved correct a few seconds later as both Kate and McGee crept into the room,

"Is he ok?" Kate asked, looking at the drip in his arm worriedly. McGee didn't say anything, but Gibbs could sense the worry around him, in his eyes,

"He'll be fine. He's got pneumonia, but he's had worse," Gibbs reminded her, to which she nodded in agreement. They both stood there awkwardly for a moment before Kate suddenly reached inside her bag and pulled out some cards,

"Here, they're from most of the girls at work, and there's one from me, McGee and Ducky in there. Abby couldn't come right now, but she said she'd come later, and she's bought her own present for him apparently. And there's a bouquet of flowers outside from everyone, but the nurse said it might aggravate his lungs, so we couldn't bring it in." Gibbs nodded to all of this, and responded, quite out of the blue,

"What do you know about DiNozzo's past?" Kate and McGee both looked at each other, confused by the random comment,

"Er, barely anything Boss, he doesn't really talk about it," McGee answered, looking at Tony warily, "Why?"

"I want you to find out about it. Everything. Where he grew up, if he moved house, where he went on holiday, who he had his first kiss with, _everything_." McGee glanced at Kate, who looked just as confused as he did,

"But ah, Boss... I don't have the authorization to look into his personnel files, and the..." He stopped as Gibbs' ice blue stare went right through him, "I'll find out." He quickly said, and went out, quickly followed by Kate, who didn't look at all like she'd understood what Gibbs had said.

The ex-marine let out a breath when they were gone. He looked over to Tony, who was still sleeping, and murmured,

"I'm going to find out what he did to you Tony. We're going to make him sorry." Tony mumbled something in his sleep, and the room became quiet once more.

--

"Gibbs?" He jumped from sleep and swung around blearily, to face the door. Rubbing his eyes, he saw Abby stood there, holding a huge card, some balloons and a small black bear, with the words 'Get well soon' on its stomach, written in blood red ink.

"How is he?" She asked, obviously unaware that her boss was getting annoyed at being asked this,

"He'll be fine. He's got pneumonia, but he's had worse." He said, mirroring what he'd said to both Kate and McGee before. Abby's lip trembled but she walking over to the side tabled and placed her presents there, before sitting next to Gibbs and falling into the hug he offered, wrapping an arm round her shoulder.

"Is he going to be ok?" She asked quietly, her voice wavering as she did so,

"Yeah, he's a tough one Abbs, you know that." Abby nodded, but her face fell and the confident look she had dropped off.

"You're worried about him too aren't you?" She asked, a hint of mischief in her eyes as she did, "Don't give me that look!" She warned him, "I know you are." Gibbs rolled his eyes but soon gave up. It was just Abby there, and she already knew, so what was the point in lying?"

"Yeah, I'm worried. I came into the room and he was screaming and shouting, lashing out at nothing. I got scared Abbs. I couldn't do a single thing to help. He just kept yelling, telling his dad to stop..." He trailed off, lost in the memory, but Abby gasped. She shot off her chair to crouch by Tony's head and whispered,

"You poor baby." And started to stroke his cheek, wincing as she felt how hot he was.

"What happened Abbs? I need to know what his dad did." She sniffed slightly, but carried on stroking his cheek, not looking up as she said,

"When he was 4 his mum died. Everyone thought it was suicide. That was bad enough, but Tony actually saw his dad beat his mum until she died from blood loss. Then, he got rounded on. He got regular beatings for ages, obviously his dad had lost his old punch bag, and wanted another one," She paused for a moment, knowing how angry she was making Gibbs. She didn't like making him angry, but as long as he wasn't angry at her, she was ok, "Then suddenly, when he was 12, his dad got bored of him and sent him to military school, cutting any ties he had with him. I don't know whether someone from social services found out or not, but whatever happened, he never saw his dad again."

Gibbs dwelled on all this long after Abby had bid a teary goodbye to Tony, kissing him on the forehead and stroking his hand, before hugging Gibbs tightly and walking out. How anyone could not only kill their wife, but also beat their child was beyong him. He honestly had no idea what could possess someone to do that. He sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that day and settled down further into his seat, waiting for Tony to wake up again. He had some explaining to do.

**I just had to type all this out again *sob* :( Silly website. I went to save it and it asked for my login! By the time I got back it had all gone :'( Ah well. I might have to start the next chapter of my other story next lol, I'm so involved in it :D Review? xxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**So... how're you? Wow it's like an uncomfortable conversation with your great aunt from Zimbabwe who doesn't understand your culture. That's actually never happened to me, but you get my drift...  
Do I even have any great aunts?....**

Tony came round to the buzzing of what seemed to be people talking in the background. He struggled to sit up, before realising he had some tubes stuck in him. He leant back with a sigh, something not going unnoticed by those in the room,

"Tony? You awake?" Tony rolled his eyes at the obvious question, but shrank back as he realised he'd just eye-rolled Gibbs, "You better watch yourself DiNozzo." He warned, and Tony hated seeing the frown on his face, the flash of anger that ran through his eyes.

"Sorry Boss." He hastily apologised, glad for the fact that he could speak without wheezing, and could sit up (Well, near enough sitting up) without his chest flaring in pain. He gazed around the room, trying to ignore Gibbs' stare, and realised there were two other people there,

"Kate? Probie? What're you doing here? Did'ya bring me anything?" He asked, getting eager and excited as he saw his fellow agents stood in the corner of the room. Kate rolled her eyes at him, like he'd done to Gibbs, and said,

"Don't think we're here because we're worried about you DiNozzo. I needed to give Gibbs my report."

"Oh." He looked so disheartened that Gibbs couldn't help giving him a small smile, and saying,

"They brought you some flowers yesterday DiNozzo, they're outside, the nurse couldn't risk them hurting your lungs." He nodded, grinning now he knew he had something. Even if it was just flowers. Why flowers anyway? They'd never given him flowers before. That's when he saw the slight red rims of Kate's eyes, as though she'd been crying, and the twitchy, shifty stance McGee had. And the fact Gibbs was being nice. It all made sense now.

"Aw crap!" He he yelled, causing them all to jump as he bit his lip and looked over to Gibbs, grabbing his wrist,

"How bad is it? Really, what's wrong with me?" Gibbs raised an eyebrow,

"What _are_ you on about Tony? You have pneumonia, but you're getting better, you're coherent now, which is better than you were a couple of days ago."

"But then... why have I got flowers? Why has Kate been crying? Why is Probie... why is Probie even here? And why are you being nice?" Gibbs sighed. He was a fool to think Tony wouldn't spot _something_. The man was a damn good agent, and would find out, Gibbs knew, if they didn't tell him.

"You had... a fever. You were yelling things in your sleep, things about... your father," Gibbs carefully watched Tony's expression for any sign of understanding. It was easy to see, you could barely need to look at him to know something was wrong. His face had lost all of it's colour and according to the monitor he was attached to his heart rate had just sped up, going at least twice the normal rate. Gibbs gently pulled his wrist out of Tony's hand and placed his own on the young man's shoulder,

"Tony, relax, he's not coming, he's not here, you're fine, you're ok, he's _not here_." Kate was astounded that Gibbs seemed to know exactly what Tony wanted to hear. He expressed the last two words with such force that Tony immediately relaxed, leaning back into the bedclothes,

"Good," He muttered, before saying louder, "So, what's the report on?" Kate looked over to McGee, who looked over to Gibbs, who said,

"You, Tony." He raised his eyebrows in disbelief and asked,

"Why? I haven't done anything wrong!" He sounded so childlike that Kate smiled slightly, and started as McGee said,

"We know Tony, but Abby told us some things, and combined with what you were yelling about, we er... we dug a bit, to see what was wrong." Tony shuffled up in his bed and started yelling, hoarsely,

"You looked through _my _personnel files Probie? You looked through my personal history? What else did you do? You had no right to do that! Why would you do that? I don't... don't see what this has to do with anything... I..." He was gasping for breath, and two nurses had already ran in, hearing the outburst,

"We have to sedate him," One of them shouted to Gibbs, over the noise, "He needs rest, he can't shout like this." Gibbs bit his lip, but nodded. It was against his judgement to let them stick a needle in Tony, but he couldn't bear the laboured gasping in his agent's voice. Kate squeezed her eyes shut and turned around as the nurses calmly injected something into Tony, which soon made him stop yelling, and after a while he was completely unconscious.

"Well... that could have gone better." McGee murmured, and Kate had a mental image of Tony going, in true Gibbs fashion, 'Ya think McGee?' and head slapping him.

"Well are you surprised McGee?" She asked, "I mean, you've seen how many times he went to hospital because of his father. And with what Abby told us, no wonder he went crazy."

"How did Abby even find out?" McGee asked, looking puzzled,

"They're very good friends," Kate told him, "He probably tells her a lot of stuff." Gibbs stayed quiet through their conversation, staring at Tony. _His _Tony. The agent he found as a cop in Baltimore and immediately his gut told him that this kid was something different. But now, looking down, you wouldn't think that from the man in the bed. He looked weak. Broken. As if he'd given up. And Gibbs was sure that now that intelligent spark in his green eyes would have disappeared.

"I think you two should go get some sleep," He said to Kate and McGee, which sounded more like an order, "I'll call you if anything happens." They both nodded and went to leave, but not before he added, "And find out where that bastard lives." Neither agent needed to ask who 'that bastard' was, and simply nodded again and walked out.

--

Gibbs was still sat staring at Tony two hours later, when his mobile went off,

"Gibbs."

"Boss, it's Kate, we er... we found Anthony DiNozzo Senior's home address..." She tailed off,

"And, Special Agent Todd?"

"He's dead Gibbs, last year. Apparently he gave all of his empire to the, quote, 'nephew he looked upon like the son he'd never had'." Gibbs sat there in silence, digesting what he'd just been told. Should they tell him his father was dead? Would it be better if he knew? Would he stop having nightmares, even if they _were _brought on by a high temperature? As if on cue, Tony started to mumble, and shift uncomfortably, as if he was too hot, although the doctor's said he'd improved rapidly, and could be discharged the following day,

"Kate I've gotta go." Without waiting for a reply he hung up. He quickly got up off his chair and came to the side of Tony's bed, grabbing his hand and rubbing it, as if it was cold,

"It's alright Tony, I promise you it's ok... Come on son, you can do it, just breathe... it's alright, I promise..." He repeated this mantra, over and over,willing it to be true. That it was ok, and his promises always came through. Amazingly, it seemed to help, and Tony was no longer shifting in the bed, or muttering to himself, which had almost become a shout,

"It's ok Tony... there now, shhh..." Gibbs carefully moved around so that he was sat on the bed right next to his agent, no longer squeezing his hand, but putting his arms around Tony's shoulders, and giving him a hug, the first hug he'd ever given so much meaning in before for ages.

"We'll get you through this," Gibbs murmured to him, "I promise."

**Think there may be one chapter after this... maybe, I've said that before and ended with about another 10 0.o Ah well. I so want pizza right now, and it's twenty to ten... Review? xxx**


	8. Chapter 8

**Wow, how long has it been? Anywho, hope ya enjoy this, thanks to everyone who's read it and/or reviewed it ^^ Don't think I did very well with this chapter :S**

After a few more days in the hospital, the young man had been given the go ahead to escape. He'd been going crazy, forever fidgeting and playing with the little tubes and whatnot going into him. Gibbs was constantly giving him light smacks on the back of the head, but if anyone else was in the room, they could tell his heart wasn't in it. The news about Tony's father had shocked him. He knew that DiNozzo hadn't had the easiest childhood, but who had? Obviously Gibbs had, in comparison to Tony's. He'd been woefully ignorant about it all, not knowing what had been haunting Tony all these years. Of course, it was extremely hard to see, but when you knew someone as well as Gibbs knew Tony, you'd have to have been blind to have not seen what was wrong.

But he'd put it all behind him. He'd simply put a veil over it all and acted as though he couldn't see the slump of Tony's shoulders when they had a child abuse case, or the haunted look in his eye when they pulled in a kidnapper. He realised now how stupid he'd been, how he now had to step up to it all. He'd done that the next time Tony had awoke in hospital.

"Listen Tony, I know that we're not supposed to look in your personnel files, but..."

"Not you," Tony had murmured hoarsely, "Just McGeek. I trust you." Gibbs' heart swelled with pride. That was the kind of thing he strived for 24-7 with his agents. At the end of the day, he didn't care whether or not they _liked _him, just as long as they trusted him, he couldn't give a damn of how else they felt about him. The thing was though, he knew how they felt about him. He was the kind of man who could instantly tell. And he knew how Tony saw him, but he couldn't bring himself to tell the kid how he felt in return.

"Trust with what Tony?" He'd asked,

"My past Gibbs. Whatever you see, it's... confidential... and complicated..."

"Ah, the hell it is DiNozzo," Gibbs had said, anger flaring up inside him, "There is nothing complicated about child abuse. It's illegal and sick. Period." Tony shook his head frantically and hastily argued,

"It _wasn't_child abuse, it was punishment. I deserved it, he - wait, none of that should be in my personnel files. How d'you know whoever told you just made it up?"

"'Cause you just admitted it DiNozzo. Now, start from the top. Why do you think it was punishment and what did he do?"

"Why do you want to know?" Tony had wailed miserably. Gibbs just gave him a _look_. Tony had then sighed and started, looking into his lap, fiddling his fingers around. Once or twice he had started to sob weakly, still telling Gibbs what had happened, not stopping, as he had been ordered to tell. That didn't stop Gibbs going next to his bed and putting a comforting hand on his shoulder, letting Tony put his own hand on top of that, going so far as to rest his cheek against it, making it wet with salty tears. Eventually, he'd felt better, but then, he asked,

"Why did you suddenly want to know about it all Boss? I don't understand." Gibbs shook his head,

"Never thought I'd hear you say that DiNozzo," Tony stuck his tongue out, and reeled back, thinking he'd be head-slapped. However, that didn't even occur, and he looked up at his boss, puzzled, "You've got a bit more on your mind than usual Tony," Gibbs explained, softly, "You don't need that as well."

Tony shrugged but looked up, waiting to be told why there was the sudden interest in his past,

"When you had a fever, it was really bad. You were hallucinating and all sorts. At first it wasn't too bad. You just started talking to Kate and asking her why she was the only female smurf in the village, then referring to me as Papa Smurf," He paused, enjoying the redness creeping onto Tony's face, "But then you were in bed, and you started to thrash out, yelling for your dad to get away, and for your mum to save you."

Tony paled, and whispered,

"I remember. You told me before, but I can remember some of it... Mum..." He raised a shaking hand to his mouth, as if all the years he'd had to mourn were wasted, so he'd had to do it there and then. Then the tears came. Torrents of water just kept coming from Tony's eyes,

"Tony, hey it's ok, come on. I know how you feel, I've lost members of my family too." Tony looked up at him with big watery eyes, but upon seeing the small look of grief in one of his boss' eyes, he just curled up into a ball and sobbed, as if carrying both of their grief.

"Oh Tony." Gibbs had murmured, before sitting on the bed and gathering him up, holding him in his arms and rocking him up and down, letting the younger man cry on his shoulder, feeling both depressed at the state of his agent, and elated that he would pick Gibbs of all people to cry on, trusting him even at his most vulnerable.

--

"Are you sure you're ready to do this Tony?" The young agent looked up at his boss with the spark gone from his green eyes and a pale shade to his face and nodded. Gibbs sighed, recognizing the determined set of his jaw. After the whole, 'curling up and crying incident' Gibbs had been very hesitant to tell Tony about his father. He had no idea how his senior field agent would react. Even though he'd told Gibbs this horrid stuff about his dad, would he still love him under that?

He'd gotten the answer when he'd said, hesitantly,

"Tony, about your dad," Tony had instantly stopped fidgeting and sat to attention, "I was trying to locate him, to knock some sense into him," Tony smiled at his boss' protectiveness, "But, we had a bit of trouble..." Tony cocked his head and looked confused,

"That's weird. He's never moved house. We've always had this family compound, and he loves it there. Why couldn't you find him?" Gibbs took a breath and looked deep into Tony's eyes,

"He's dead Tony. Early last month." Tony nodded, his teeth gritted, as if he was in pain,

"Are you... ok? Do you want to be alone?" Gibbs asked, about to stand up. He'd just taken his hand off the other man's when he whispered,

"Don't go. I just... need some quiet time. Just, promise me you won't leave?" And Gibbs had promised. Staying there until Tony had fallen asleep, and after that, until he'd been dying from lack of coffee. When that moment occured, he waited until one of his team was visiting.

--

This brought them to present day, with Tony now discharged from hospital and bouncing around quite happily, a mask over his true feelings, which was only fully penetrated when Gibbs suggested he went to visit his father's grave,

"It might make it all clearer for you Tony." Tony hadn't understood what that mean, _at all, _but was finally persuaded to go. The mask on his face still stayed where it was, even with just Gibbs there, he couldn't let his feelings be known. The screwed up kid who still missed his dad, despite the fact he was used as a punching bag on a daily basis for more than 8 years. Even just thinking it made his eyes prick with tears.

With Gibbs' father-like hand on his shoulder he approached the grave, which overpowered his nostrils in the sickly scent of flowers, and crouched down in front of it, so he could read what they'd put on it,

_Anthony DiNozzo Sr,_

_Loving husband, father and uncle._

_R.I.P_

With tears dripping down his face, he looked up into Gibbs' concerned face and said,

"See what they've put Boss? 'A loving father'. I feel so... it's just..."

"Just take your time Tony, and say it when you're ready." Tony took some deep breaths and said,

"It's just, when it's put there, I remember the good times. When he was too drunk to hit me, and when he helped me ride my bike 'cause he didn't want to buy me a car in the future."

"Well I think, it's better to remember the good times, that way your memory of him isn't sullied too much." Although Gibbs thought these were pathetic good times to remember, but he couldn't blame the kid for thinking they were actual moments of affection.

"And, there's something else..." Gibbs waited, letting the kid take his time to explain himself, "I feel... guilty. Whenever I... whenever you praise me, about my work, or when you pat my shoulder, or even when you slap me in the head. It's like, it's like it's his memory that I'm kind of, washing away, y'know? Like, I'm trying to replace him as quickly as possible, or taking the small things you do as a kind of huge improvement on whatever he did." Gibbs breathed out slowly. He knew as well as Tony did that the kid liked these small moments of affection, even getting head slapped, as long as he was getting attention from someone.

"Tony, listen to me. _Anything _is an improvement on what he did. I know he's your father, although god knows he doesn't deserve that title, and for some reason you miss him, but you've got to just remember the good time, you hear me?" Tony nodded weakly, leaning against Gibbs' legs (He was crouched down remember). It was as if a huge chasm had opened up inside him. Figures, the only time you remember every single good thing about a person, they were dead.

"I don't know... I don't know how to cope Boss." Tony whispered tearfully, making Gibbs haul him upright, turning him so he was facing the ex-marine,

"Tony, you don't need to. We're all here for you. If you ever need to talk, or... or just listen to reason, or have some sense thrust into that head of yours. We're here." Tony blinked away tears and nodded, rubbing his nose on his jacket.

"I'm just... confused. I don't know whether to be happy or sad. I mean, it;s all over, finished, but, shouldn't I be sad? I owe that much to my father."

"You have a right to be happy too Tony," Gibbs reminded him softly, "Just make your peace with him and come back to work." Tony smiled at him, letting the tears slide down his face as he stared at the gravestone. Crouching back down, he put a hand on it and said,

"Bye Dad," Sniffing slightly, "I know you were only trying to make me into a man, but you took it too far. I will miss you, but not as much as people might think. And sometimes, sometimes I'll think of you. Of how you should have been, whenever the boss hits me, or if he tells me I've done a good job, I'll think, 'Here's a good dad', and I'll pinpoint every bit you went wrong. But I will miss you. I promise." The last bit was a mere whimper, as Gibbs took him in his arms and hugged him, running his fingers through the younger agent's hair.

"Good job son." Gibbs whispered, loving the knowledge that Tony was safe in his arms, and wouldn't be hurt ever again, if Gibbs had anything to do with it.

**Ok, I'm soooo sorry the ending is _that _crappy, but it's the best I can come up with right now ok? Review? And thanks again for reading and reviewing so far ^^ xxx**


End file.
